Cornfield Philosophers Gifts

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

You can't get what up

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

'What d'you mean, you're a Republican?'

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Dept. de Philosophie

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."

Thinker ponders milking stool.

"Walden Pond is fine as long as Thoreau isn't there."

"What's the furthest away, America or the moon..?"CartoonStock Upload

How does she get her grass so green?

Poet and Peasant

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

Europe

'...and so I say without fear of contradiction...'

Women on desert island build themselves a fence to talk over.

"I believe jazz did come up the Mississippi, Ted, but not quite as far as East Moline."

'You don't see any for hours, then three come along at once.'

A vegetarian cursing a cow.