Cornfield Lover Gifts

You are leaving the farm belt. Welcome to the farm pants

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Deforestation.

Where Indian ink came from.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

"Herb's from Texas."

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

Tyrannosaurus Tex

Fox hunting.

"Hey! I know a howl of derision when I hear one!"

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Cornucopia

Ranch Dressing

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

'Wanna look for corn on the internet?'

Spotted Owl Migration

"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

Eyes on the Forest Floor

"Oh, I'll bet you just LOVED that, didn't you?"

"By all means, go ahead! At this point, it's just in the way!"