Cornfield Lover Gifts

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Deforestation.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Where Indian ink came from.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

"Herb's from Texas."

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"Hey! I know a howl of derision when I hear one!"

Fox hunting.

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

Tyrannosaurus Tex

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Spotted Owl Migration

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

'I'm sorry, miss. We are planting a forest here, so you'll have to move.'

'Wanna look for corn on the internet?'

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

Ranch Dressing

Cornucopia

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

Eyes on the Forest Floor

"Oh, I'll bet you just LOVED that, didn't you?"

Do bears take drug tests in the woods?

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922