Cornfield Philosopher Gifts

"English lit-how about you?"

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

You can't get what up

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

Grass: We lost some good men today!

The Farmer Sutra.

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'What d'you mean, you're a Republican?'

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

Dept. de Philosophie

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

No crawling sign in the desert.

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

Caution - Poet at work

"Ha! You mean you've only caught one fish all day?!"

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."