Cornfield Dreamers Gifts

Ruth and her new cordless telephone.

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Looks like the bank's director still inside.

Midnight Basketball

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Baseball Dreams

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

Not The Real Me

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'I don't want to rob the rich anymore, Marian, I want to BE the rich.'

'Yes! How does if feel to be giving birth to a future kicker in professional football?'

My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Ennio Morricone RIP

'Son, there's more to life than dunking, There's also making big money from ads, like Yao Ming'

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

Man without Fingers Playing Guitar

'No, I can't be the horse, YOU have to be the horse!'

They locked eyes. The tension between them – deliberate. All of which made the crows very uncomfortable.

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

"Today we're going to open that dungeon and let those demons out."

Cowboy's to-do list.

"It keeps us fit at a safe social distance."

'Remember, my dear, it's just a starter castle.'

Heart of Darkness

"The worst thing about getting shorter is you can't get those rebounds any more."

"I dreamed the Yankees lost in Game Seven."

'I'm going to try to be a pro hockey player. So, if I don't return, you'll know I made it, and you can take charge of the marketing department.'