Cord Chewer's Advocate Gifts

"I'm not a chewer. Chewing the cable cord is the only way I can get him to stop watching TV and spend a few minutes with me."

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"Look, you bake the cookies, I eat them the system works."

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."

"Cupcakes for the judge? You're new here, aren't you?"

"This song asks the musical question: "Can anyone here show me how to play an e-minor chord?"

'Skip the meal more room for dessert!'

Bicycle Pie Chart

'Dad, I've got two more chargers for you to store.'

That elusive Pecorino!

'You can't eat me! Didn't your mum tell you you shouldn't snack between meals?'

Hemp Bombs

Is there life after digestion?

'Directives from the government, meetings with the union, disputes with suppliers - it's getting more and more difficult to make bubble gum these days.'

Dentist next door to the witch in the gingerbread house

'Oh, you cut the cord too?'

"In my day, we got bubblegum in our hair, not drones!"

"This song is very difficult for me, emotionally. Plus, the chords are hard."

The Joint: State Deficits and Millions in Tax Revenue.

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

"It's from young Joe. He's in hot water with someone named Joycelyn Elders."

"All my wires and cords have banded together to stop me from going wireless!"

Beethoven's teenage pro-surfer career takes a dramatic turn.

"No wonder we never achieve anything. All we ever do is ruminate!"

A man playing a video game called Anaconda Attack is wrapped up in game console cord.

"You'd think that manager's wife would order him not to chew with his mouth open!"

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

New free trade agreement with the US forces Singapore to change it's ban on chewing gum.