Copy Machine Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Give it to me. . . I'll copy it for you. . . I'll put it in the bottom of our stack so it doesn't get mixed up with yours.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

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Selling lemon latt�

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He likes to power nap.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

'These are job perks.'

"At this office no two days are different."

Farm Humor.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Emergency Phone.

The Snarky District

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'