Copy Machine Connoisseur Pillows

'Give it to me. . . I'll copy it for you. . . I'll put it in the bottom of our stack so it doesn't get mixed up with yours.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

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'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'He likes to power nap.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Night of the Latkes

"At this office no two days are different."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'These are job perks.'

Farm Humor.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Happy Hour

The Trojan Beagle.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

10 Good Things about a Minnesota Winter.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."