Cooking Avoider Gifts

'Sounds way too complicated, let's phone for a take away.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

Sawdust.

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

'Alice are you dating me only because you don't feel like cooking?'

"First, do no ham."

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

"It's not fair that ice cream melts, but broccoli doesn't."

Eat your vegetables

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"Mom, bear and I discussed it, and we decided that neither of us wants broccoli anymore, okay?"

'No dinner for me mum. I don't want to spoil my appetite for in between meal, snacks.'

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

"I'm putting you on a skipping diet. . .Skip cakes and wine."

"He's part of my weight loss app. Whenever I'm about to eat junk food, he's alerted and then comes over and eats it for me."

Don�t waste your peas! Ok! Snort! Ow! What are you doing? Not wasting my peas.

'Today I discover fire, tonight she burns dinner.'

'I don't like vegetables, so when I grow up, can I be a couch donut?'

Hiding from unwanted visitors.

"I told you not to mention the broccoli quiche."

'Will open jars for food.'

"No thanks, mom, I'm giving up broccoli for lent. Also lima beans, spinach and cauliflower!"

"I'm not in a breakfast-fixing mood just now."

"I won't eat my greens and you can't make me!"

"Not now—I'm cooking to avoid intimacy."

Wheel of Dinner

"With my tech skills, I just feel my talents would be wasted on mundane tasks like taking out the trash, cutting the grass and cleaning my room."

"My new glasses can see every speck of dust. That's why I don't wear them."