Kitchen Avoider Gifts

Wheel of Dinner

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

'Alice are you dating me only because you don't feel like cooking?'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

'Don't let the warning not to travel, stop you from travelling into the kitchen and putting the kettle on.'

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"Ah, here you are... I see you made the mistake of tasting your own cooking."

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

"Honey? Sweetheart?"

'Sounds way too complicated, let's phone for a take away.'

'I never wanted a dishwasher. I find the best place to get some peace from my teenagers is the kitchen when the sink is full of dirty dishes.'

'No dinner for me mum. I don't want to spoil my appetite for in between meal, snacks.'

"Giving up on diet?"

'Thank goodness for salt and pepper.'

"Fools! You're not supposed to *eat* the bay leaves!"

Punch Initials - T

"Oh look... You don't know how to wash dishes. I guess you don't ever have to wash them again."

'Do you mind popping back in, to rescue the Sunday joint?'

"I'm not in a breakfast-fixing mood just now."

"With my tech skills, I just feel my talents would be wasted on mundane tasks like taking out the trash, cutting the grass and cleaning my room."

"Are you going to help with the washing up?"

"You had to know I meant add cooking oil, junior. . . not motor oil!"

"Not now—I'm cooking to avoid intimacy."

'Friday morning is no good for me- I'll be settling someone's hash!'

'My motto is...'if you can't stand the heat, go out to dinner'.'

'Your medication should be taken on an empty stomach should such an occasion ever present itself.'