Cookie Skeptic T-Shirts

"I don't really consider oatmeal raisin cookies real cookies. They're more like little granola frisbees."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Roadkill cookies"

Cookie Surveillance

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"I don't know, Doc, it's just that lately I've been feeling crummy!"

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

If you give a mouse a french cookie

"The cookies are always stale."

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

'It's our website's grand opening. We're offering all of our visitors free cookies when they log on.'

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

'I never knew what happiness was until I met you, Grandma!'