Cookie Skeptic T-Shirts

"I don't really consider oatmeal raisin cookies real cookies. They're more like little granola frisbees."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

"Roadkill cookies"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Cookie Surveillance

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

"I don't know, Doc, it's just that lately I've been feeling crummy!"

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

If you give a mouse a french cookie

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"... ad that's when I got into the harder stuff, biscotti."

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

(No caption). Woman looks at cookie sheet which contains two cookies. One is a frowning gingerbread man whose arm, leg and part of its stomach have been bitten off. The second cookie is a smiling gingerbread man who has a very full stomach.

"The cookies are always stale."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'It's our website's grand opening. We're offering all of our visitors free cookies when they log on.'

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."