Cookie Jar Climbers Gifts

"How can I be expected to reach my 'full potential' when I can't even reach the cookie jar?"

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"Ninja bread men"

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

Group of people.

Human Resources Dept. When the boss says you're on the "short list" for promotion, it's not a crack about your height.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'I've had a lot of experience at this. My Mom keeps the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.'

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

The boss and her baby

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

'We do have something in Real Estate for an individual who's willing to starve for a year before turning to the office supplies.'

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

An older white male executive is barely hanging onto his career

Pegs Incorporated. We'll let you know.

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years."

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

What they're thinking.

"He worked his way up from kicking the vending machine."