Cookie Craver Pillows

"That's odd...they left me cookies, but no milk."

"Ohmigod! What have I done?"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Trying not to eat a cookie."

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

Cookie Does

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'Works every time.'

Picking pastries.

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'The roof needs icing.'

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

Santa looking at a plate of cookies and a bottle of hand sanitizer

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"Roadkill cookies"

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

' I let you think it's your ides...then I agree with you.'

Cookie Surveillance

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies