Conversational Comrades Gifts

Pie chart of pub conversations

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'Read any good Apps lately?'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

A lesson in wit

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'Back in 1956 you were the youngest Briton to cover the Hungarian uprising. You are presently writing your memoirs in Sardinia. First question: how do you feel about the sorry state the London Underground is in?'

'We've just learned to speak and now you're not talking to me?'

Bla Bla Bla

"I'm leaving you,Jerry-I need more from a man than just scintillating conversation."

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."

"She's a great networker. One drink and she's on schmooze control."

'...I said, well now that they've reached saturation point at least they're not making so many...'

"He looks just the way he did in life."

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'