Conversational Comic Gifts

'I tried to join the local rambling club - but the man on the phone just went on and on and on..."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'In that case we will ALL wait for the results of the lab assistant's DNA test on the chalk.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"All the good ones are neutered."

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

"Can you hear me now?"

Parking validation

'Red capes no longer bother me, due to my anger counselling.'

"I thought I was a writer, but it turned out to be a chemical imbalance."

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

"It's a lovingly handcrafted beer, citra and summit hopped, with notes of lime, passion fruit and ...."

Jewish hospitals

'Baseball isn't a religion Eddie.'

Bob tries out his new sleazeball checker.

Snakes Have Speech Impediments.

'It's all about hunting and killing with you, isn't it? Why can't you just have fun in the woods?'

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

Candidates for Water Divining

"Stop talking. This is a cha cha, not a chat chat!"

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

"Can we stop talking about turmeric now?"

"I've just joined a support group for boring people."