"Oh, the pain I can take—it's the awkward silence between conversations that's torture."
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"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"
Dog Nightmares
"Could I ask just one question?"
Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.
Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period
"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"
" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."
"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"
"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."
"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."
"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."
"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"
Attention Span Man
Big Talk/Small Talk.
'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'
'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'
"What on earth do they find to talk about?"
"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"
"Doctor, your client with the multiple personality disorder, is on lines one, two, three and four."
I just can't understand Ho9w anyone could be afraid of clowns.
'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'
Bar Therapy
What's Their Secret?
"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"
"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."
"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"
"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."
"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."
Death By Mattress
Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'
"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"
"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."
"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"
After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.
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