Uncomfortable Conversation Aficionado T-Shirts

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Very Difficult Conversations

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

What price beauty?

Protest

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

Attention Span Man

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"You're not even listening!"

"Hey, keep it down, we're trying to have a conversation."

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

'I didn't know our relationship was SUPPOSED to be going anywhere.'

I've always wanted to be enigmatic but I talk too much.