Awkward Conversation Aficionados T-Shirts

"We thought it was a rough patch, but it turned out to be our life."

"When you people start working eggs into the conversation, it's really code for something else,right?"

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

"And I'm actually the one who puts the giblets back into the chickens..."

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

Very Difficult Conversations

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

What price beauty?

Protest

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

'Miss Kress, who on our staff is in charge of denials and uncomfortable realities.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

Before birds and bees,

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

"Bob, when I said "let him sniff your hand first," I meant the dog."

Send. End.

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'It's not you it's me not liking you.'

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

'How can you possibly be busy washing your hair for the rest of your life???'

"Have you talked to Baldo about girls lately?"

'Mom, did I come preassembled or did you and dad have to put me together?'

'For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.'

Meet Jim, you've a lot in common...he's an insufferable bore as well...

"What I like best about you is how you, er ...the way you, ummm....You know, there's actually nothing I like about you."

"I'm beginning to think this niche networking isn't getting us anywhere."

'You said you wanted to talk to me about sex, Dad - what actually do you want to know?'

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

The Heimlich Maneuver

"I ate some yogurt once. It was very good."