Control Escapist Gifts

"I'm tired of being micromanaged."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

"If only you could do this in real life..."

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Kissing Hands

"They say walking can change your life. Bye!"

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Houdini 2019

"Not again!"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Message in a bottle.

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

Dangerous tax audits.

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.

"You know, on second thought maybe I'll take the stairs."

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

'Only six more floors to my cubicle.'

'I brought this in so we can cut down the insurance company's phone tree.'

Virtual Reality Check

"You have to ask yourself, is it even worth finding the cheese anymore!"

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'