Contrarian Strategist Gifts

The Contrarian funds

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Protest

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

Targets

Burning the Other

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

'And now, Henderson will introduce his 25-part plan on spontaneity.'

'Haffner, we'll have none of your common sense suggestions!'

Guru Shifted Thinking

Whipping Cream

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

"OK, I'll be the one to say it. With all due respect, sir, that is one heck of a big 'if!'"