Contract Specialist Gifts

"Oh dear did we neglect to read the contract thoroughly?"

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'What part of etc, etc, etc don't you understand?'

'Colin was beginning to realise he should have gone to XXXXX.'

Contract Mouse Trap

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional..."

'Well, yes, the fine print is in Arabic, but it's a wonderful language.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

'Selling my soul is out of the question, on the other hand, I may be amiable to entering some sort of leasing arrangement.'

'What the large print in this contract gives you, the small print takes away, and then some.'

I don't shake, Bob. I get thing in writing.

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

A surprise in the fine print

"Yes I did want out contract design to be more progressive and visual, but this is a little too progressive."

'My partner is also a solicitor and specializes in small print!'

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"Your NDA prohibits you from talking about my tendency to bark."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

Tool Box

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

God's Subcontractors

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'