Contract Expert Gifts

'Sorry boss, we lost 5-0. What are you eating?'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

The Devil's in the detail!

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

Yo$mite National Park and Delware North Corporate Greed

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

'Third sentence, second one over...what does that word mean?'

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

"Your NDA prohibits you from talking about my tendency to bark."

Suggestions/Terms and Conditions

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'