Contract Critique Captain Gifts

'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

Finally! There comes my most important man!

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

"I may need you to take the fall for the Swanson mess. So, goeth with pride."

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

'Let's get with it, Miss Ogden -- Spread some papers around on my desk!'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

Federal Department of Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

'Or we can ask the government for a bailout.'

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

Organizational Flow Chart: Puppets

"It was just a little setback - but the boss had away of making seem much larger."

"I'm Action Plan Man. Good luck finding someone to impliment it."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Corporate policy is that this company is now paperless. Please use hand.

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"In this company, GDP stands for gree, deception and profit."

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

FDA Ingredients