Contract Analyzer Gifts

"Just sign here, sir - it clears me of any responsibility."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

"I was hoping we could avoid the middleman"

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

Ask about the incentive plan - Miss one payment and we take you to court.

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"You'll be working entirely on commission. We were kidding about the salary."

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

"It doesn't bother me so much since he signed that NDA."

A. Einstein. E = MC2. Yes, I do space-time research, but that doesn't mean I know how to get you out of your timeshare contract.

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

Shipping contract.

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"This is Brad. If there's a loophole, he'll find it."

'Sorry boss, we lost 5-0. What are you eating?'

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'