Contraceptive Enthusiast Pillows

Man searching through trash finds a contraceptive he can reuse.

New arrival

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

Meds Toast

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'They're not reliable.'

"I might suggest Ritalin."

'North Korea and Iran want nukes... Palestinians elect Hamas... and now a commercial from a leading anti-anxiety medication....'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."

The Annual Anesthesiologist Convention.

"This drug has such pleasant side effects I consider them value-added."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"