Contraception Captain Gifts

"It's the pill you have when you haven't had your pill."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

New arrival

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

'They're not reliable.'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'Video games don't seem to have done my dad any harm.'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Exporting - Highs and Lows

"And this is where I met your mum."

"Does anyone have a plan 'F'?"

'Aborting mission! Primary invasion force captured and enslaved!'

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'

Safe sex.

Over the years, Sid had refined travel on the path of least resistance to a fine art.

"Father I'm guilty of spermicide"

Reaper Condom

"Have you seen a lady who looks like she'd be married to me."

Weight gain on the pill.

BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC, 'It's for nuclear family non-proliferation.'

'Did I take my pill today?'

Morning After Pill

Police Marksman Game

Condom Police: 'Wallet's empty. Same old story - says he just ran out.'

A man on the street selling birth control.

'How's My Driving?' sign on supermarket shopper.

'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'

Family Planning: Contraceptives Should Be Used On Every Conceivable Occasion!

Man looking at a pack of condoms on a shop shelf that has the label, "Family Size".

"Well, there is a part of me that would quite like to have a child, but I keep a condom on it!"