Contortion Fan Gifts

'You've got to give up these escape attempts,'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"Come on in. The water’s fine!" "Hmm! What’s wrong with this picture?!"

"You've changed."

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Drusilla realised how different her boss looked now they met after hours.

"The court granted me a new identity!"

Old-fashioned computer

'Here it is - the world's largest miniaturization plant.'

'You should have seen me when I was a caterpillar!'

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Alberto Giacometti.

John's invention of a 'motorised' bar stool proved to be great fun.

Transformation of Man into Monster.

Gym/Tan/Donut

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

Musician hurts his nose.

'It's a Marimba!'

Frederick Robinson

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.

Ellis K., Appliance Faith Healer

Mirror Image

"I consider the day a success when I leave the office and have to tiptoe through pieces of broken paradigm!"