Continuing Medical Education Gifts

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

Fighting the Pandemic

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

Dog forced to return bone

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'What's holding him up?'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

En garde!

"Gross."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"