Contextual Philosopher Pillows

'You're taking my life completely out of context.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

The Googler

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"I think it was an election year."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

'...Sometimes the sheer monotony of it all just gets me down.'

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"Remember, it's Boy, Girl, LGBT, Boy, Girl, LG . . ."

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

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