Context Comedians Gifts

Unlike other places, around here "take a load off" means "get back to work."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

My brilliant career

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

'Not here - home!'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"Want to go watch the people who get to leave at a normal hour?"

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

"I have always depended on the content of strangers."

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'Don't hesitate to critize me, Herb, whenever I think I am wrong.'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'