Contemporary Art Admires Gifts

"I'm not quite sure what the artist is trying to say here!"

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

The Selfie

Wagging Dog

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Picasso: The Early Years

Cats at private view

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

"Feel better, dear?"

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"He's an abstract artist."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Thermidor Dali

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'It's my main decorating motif.'

'The Warhol of Dorian Gray'

Natürlich verstehst du es nicht. Er ist ein Künstler für Künstler.

Artists Cats

'I like the frame.'