Consumer Researcher Gifts

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

How did the focus group go? I'm not sure --- It was all just a blur.

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

European currency on the edge.

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

Economy - USA.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

Falling graphs.