Consumer Insights T-Shirts

Technical Performance Ranking, Consumer Satisfaction Survey, and Word on the Street.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Gullib-Os

CATCHY NAME

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Mixed Nuts (but mostly peanuts)

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

"We can't make the perfect product, but with a little luck and a lotta data, we can make the perfect customer."

'Excellent photo for the cover of our annual report, Richards. Tell me; which do we make, the cell phone or the umbrella?'

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

Man is target

"I misplace everything, yet there always seems to be more of it."

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"Any new proposals?"

'Remember, you're NEVER a stranger in this store because we've got LOADS of shopping data on you!'

'Thats with $30,000 down.'

Your Flexible Fiend.

'Our poll shows the typical advertising viewer is all 'targeted' out.'

'Try recording it again but this time, don't laugh when you say, 'Your call is important to us'.'

"You're right - the shipping isn't free. They've folded the expense in the cost of the item."

Woman is target

Warning! Due to rapid inflation, marked prices will likely double before you reach checkout.

Department Store: Freebies $18.95 (includes shipping, handling & tax).