Consumer Insight Seeker T-Shirts

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"All the celebrities come here."

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"...And in the dream, I was angry at my mother, so I told her she never gave me the love I needed... What do you think it means?"

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

Advertising man saying to woman - 'Be careful. It's a real jingle out there.'

"We can't make the perfect product, but with a little luck and a lotta data, we can make the perfect customer."

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'What the hell is PIG IRON?'

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

Man is attacked by barcodes.

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

"Give me insights on marketing to your age demographic...and I'll give you a bright shiny penny."

The competition's customer vs our customer.

'Today's consumer has new priorities, and it's our job to tell them what those priorities are...'

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'

Methuselah attends a job interview.

"Any new proposals?"

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

Ahah! Now, my son, you�re beginning to understand the law.

'Remember, you're NEVER a stranger in this store because we've got LOADS of shopping data on you!'

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

'It's more than a hunch....it's a permanent fixture.'

Next week's hindsight today - The future is now next week.

'I have a theory about your masochism.', 'Go ahead, Doc -- Let me have it.'

Valley of Big Data

'Our poll shows the typical advertising viewer is all 'targeted' out.'

"The village shaman said if we stay on this path, we can’t miss the Walmart."