Consumer Insights Junkie T-Shirts

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

But is it organic?

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

Primordial Schmooze

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

'Sorry, you're overqualified for this job.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"This is genius, Ted. We can't use it. Nobody will believe I thought of it."

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

'So that's his secret.'

'This type of injury wasn't so common, before the invention of the wheel. '

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

"We can't make the perfect product, but with a little luck and a lotta data, we can make the perfect customer."

"Intriguing concept. But next we'll have self-driving cars - and humans will be obsolete."

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"I have a bad feeling about this!"

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

"You want to tell me that you've developed a time machine? And it really works? C'mon, you're kidding, Prof. Hashmich!"

For the new gardener.

"There must be an app for this..."