Consumer Debates Gifts

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Sign Reform

Woman thinking about luxuries.

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

The economy doctor

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

desert isle shopping trolley...

"It's just not the same."

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"Which free tote goes best?"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

It's a new year, little buddy. What are you going to do to make the most of it? Throw out the old to make room for the new. Very deep, little buddy. I'm a deep person. If the big-screen tv I got on Black Friday is a whole month old, I'm Zen enough to just breathe ... and let it go, on eBay. Want to hear my Zen mantra? Luckily, I stopped listening 30 seconds ago.

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

How America Was Re-Won

For the new gardener.

Visit Our Gift Shop

"Actually, take us to your gift shop first."

"'Take that,' growled the writer as the buyer for Borders slumped to the ..."

"Uh-oh. Not a good start to the holiday shopping season."