Consumer Contention Expert Gifts

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Gullib-Os

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Consumer Protection Agency/Manufacturer Protection Agency

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Big oil.

'So Chief Executive how can you justify this new increase in gas prices?'

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

'I am stunned by the sophistication of our consumer research.'

Malls admit to using cell phones to track shoppers.

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

B.B.C. Watchdog

Duel Fuel?

Driving a Lemon.

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

'He says I was REALLY over charged!'

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

Consumer Protection Act.

"Sure it's pure. Not as pure as what we supply to high-tech industry, but pure enough to drink."