Consumer Confidence Jokester Gifts

"Let's go and wreck the economy by not going shopping."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Sign Reform

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Keep the econoimy moving

They get into debt so fast these days...

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."

Got anything for the small investor?

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

For the new gardener.

'Anyone can sell. It's keeping it sold that's the art.'

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"They call the dollar stable and you know what's in the stable."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

You will not buy toilet paper...you will not buy toilet paper....

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'

'You have stock market fever.'

GPS Shoes

"Actually, I was hoping for someone more bullish as my broker."

This is the new business range, 'confidence'.

Stuff. You don't have enough of it.

"I suppose we could convert it to bitcoin."

"Frankly, our dental plan bites."

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

Consumer Complaints.

Stay with your present market investments. Your stock will start to pick up any time now.