Consumer Confidence Jokester Pillows

"Let's go and wreck the economy by not going shopping."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

They get into debt so fast these days...

Keep the econoimy moving

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."

'I'm worried - she insisted on closing every one of her accounts while she waited...'

Got anything for the small investor?

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

For the new gardener.

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"They call the dollar stable and you know what's in the stable."

'Anyone can sell. It's keeping it sold that's the art.'

GPS Shoes

'You have stock market fever.'

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'

You will not buy toilet paper...you will not buy toilet paper....

Mother Nature's Health Foods

Stuff. You don't have enough of it.

"Actually, I was hoping for someone more bullish as my broker."

"Frankly, our dental plan bites."

'This appliance will replace that other appliance which replaced all those original appliances.'

"I suppose we could convert it to bitcoin."

This is the new business range, 'confidence'.

Consumer Complaints.

Stay with your present market investments. Your stock will start to pick up any time now.

"Our checks bounced again."