Construction Satire Lover Gifts

"We're going to cut out the expensive, boring stiff and just build the top."

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

Private work adjustments

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

"Well, they were the low bidders."

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"