Construction Comedy Lovers Gifts

'We had to cut corners!'

'I need to raise the debt ceiling.'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Stone henge swing.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

"Like THAT's ever going to work!"

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

'Please Pardon the Inconvenience as we Remodel the ER.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

NASA realized too late that there was intelligent life on this newly discovered planet.

Builders build a property that has a crease in it like the design plan.

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"Well, they were the low bidders."

Scaffolding being put together by glue.