Constrained Writing Admirer Gifts

Television Readers.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Thomas Hardy

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

Kultural K9's.

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

Dip Pen

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

"The narrative seems contrived."

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Fyodor Sologub

"Writing that book was a real strain."

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"I can write, but I can't draw."

"I'm afraid I have to recuse myself, ladies. I don't want to be responsible for the Trojan War."

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

"The conclusion of my essay on the pros and cons of domestication is that we're missing out on a lot of stuff Dad..."