Conspiracy Sleuths T-Shirts

"Follow the colorfully decorated eggs."

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"So who is this First pet?"

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'You've been killing files again.'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

CIA Recommended TVs

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

Data security officers run frantically out of reactive data security room, while another data officer relaxes in the predictive data security room.

Web cams. Web scams

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."