Conservative Parents Gifts

'We'd better get down on all fours now -- my parents are the conservative type.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"He looks just like your husband."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

'Go forth and multiply!'

Tea Party and the US economy

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

Two parent snakes measuring the growth pattern of their young one across the wall.

'He has my eyes and his father's neck tie.'

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

Rishi Sunak

Assisted pregnancy for same sex couples

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

"Way to go, son."

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

'While you were in the hospital having our fullback, uh...firstborn, I decorated this room.'

"She's growing up so fast! Already she's texting and not paying attention."

Customer Relationship Management at Surf City Hospital

Parents dressing children in protective gear in order to play conkers.

Mother Planet: 'Oh oh QUICK Honey,look Little JARRED'S trying to Orbit'

Scottish Baby

'That's nothing son: You should have seen me blowing down the little pigs' houses...'

Parental pride.

"The baptism is Sunday, and not a moment too soon, I might add."

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."