Parental Pacifist Gifts

Smokers hiding.

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

"Good news. Your child buys into the change paradigm of growing up."

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

'A lot of successful politicians opposed the Vietnam war, Senator, but if you were actually a MEMBER of the Viet Cong....'

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"Hey guys, I don't want to worry you, but..."

"I think we can stop worrying about his bed wetting!"

"My Marcia has always been so talented in so many areas. I only hope she finds a direction for herself and gets married."

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'Where did we go wrong?'

"No, last year he went to summer camp. This year he went to prison."

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

No WAR!

Gun with an olive branch on it.

A baby puts the fuse of a bomb out with its bottle.

The less evolved forms of man are ashamed to be associated with a soldier.

"What a coincidence. My mum is going to be a single mum and I'm going to be a single baby!"

'Sergeant! Wake up the lazer guided slaughter-bot. We have a mission for him.'; Reply - 'But he looks so peaceful, Sir.'

Animals watching peaceful dove on TV, humans watching explosions and violence.

"Working from home he misses his meetings."

Children preserve the world with peace

Wayside Elementary School - Now Available: Curbside Pickup!

'You're so lucky your kid's got a male role model.'

Just Fed the Kids.

"We don't believe in pressuring the children. When the time is right, they'll choose the appropriate gender."

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

'I've got the children busy finding a solution to the Middle East crisis...'