Conservative Curious Gifts

"I'm back!"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

Do Guns Kill?

Young ladies ponder the relationship of a man with a young boy

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Sunset

'Just how informal is this constitution?'

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

God hounded by the media.

"I have come to a specific and definite conclusion about the Constitution: It's ok, I guess."

The Governor-General settles in.

"It looks like fecal transplants may do us in."

"Humbug! I don't believe that you can tell the future!"

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

'But what is a recession, Father?'

"So, what would you do about the Taliban, Channel Immigrants and Extinction Rebellion, eh?"

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

"They should open the files - Lenin never said all those crazy things attributed to him."

My first rodeo

"If you have to ask, you can't understand the answer."

"If so many things taste like chicken, why did God make chickens?"

Eargerness: A dangerously maladaptive emotional affliction that results from insufficient experience. Antidote: more experience.

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"Devin Nunes is a Great American."

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

"I'm not religious-just anti-science."

Canada heatwave

'It's just not your time. I' sending you back with answer to the top 10 frequently asked questions.'

Amnesty Proposals of Jan 1876: The Democratic Tiger Remains Untamed