Consciousness Gifts

'To be or not to be - well yes, but what about coma, trance, vegetative states, reincarnation, near death experience, cryogenics?'

National Everything Awareness Day

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Can't even hold signs well.

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

I think therefore I am.

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"I'm not an AI, I'm a human being."

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"Do you have a cure doctor?"

Pollution Look

Increase Your Height.

"I tell you, the book has everything- sex, history, consciousness, and cats!"

An afterthought/An afrothought

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol, triglycerides, and ego are all too high.'

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

New beef chart.

Medication label reads: 'If depression symptoms persist consider suicide'

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

'Alex, you're getting more aloof by the day. You're binge meditating again, aren't you?'

Hypnotherapy: prices subject to change without conscious notice.

"Hate? Crime? Violence? Never heard of it."

"Actually, I do my best thinking when Mr. Genius here is sound asleep. How about you?"

'I'll have 17,000 prawn balls...'