Consciousness Pillows

'To be or not to be - well yes, but what about coma, trance, vegetative states, reincarnation, near death experience, cryogenics?'

National Everything Awareness Day

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

Can't even hold signs well.

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

I think therefore I am.

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

Pollution Look

"Do you have a cure doctor?"

"I'm not an AI, I'm a human being."

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"I tell you, the book has everything- sex, history, consciousness, and cats!"

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

An afterthought/An afrothought

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

Dispatched

Increase Your Height.

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol, triglycerides, and ego are all too high.'

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

New beef chart.

Medication label reads: 'If depression symptoms persist consider suicide'

Black Lives Matter

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

'Alex, you're getting more aloof by the day. You're binge meditating again, aren't you?'

Hypnotherapy: prices subject to change without conscious notice.

Green Cross Code: Avoid cars, avoid meat, avoid fur.

'I'll have 17,000 prawn balls...'

"Hate? Crime? Violence? Never heard of it."

A man with the world on his mind inspects the world