Consciousness Raiser Gifts

Born To Raise Consciousness

Migrant Deaths at Sea

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Spoiler alert: most of my presentation is actually a series of trigger warnings.

I think therefore I am.

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

Environmental Conscience

"I'm not an AI, I'm a human being."

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

How are you feeling, Al? I couldn't be happier, Dr. Kapuchnik. Gee, that's great. No, I mean I wanted to be happier, but I couldn't.

"So what is worse than us being trashed after the shootings in the Charleston AME church?! I mean...it's the only thing on the news."

"I tell you, the book has everything- sex, history, consciousness, and cats!"

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"It's meatloaf. We didn't make our Kickstarter goal for steak."

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol, triglycerides, and ego are all too high.'

Lack History Month

"I'm worried that not everyone knows I'm a vegan!"

'Alex, you're getting more aloof by the day. You're binge meditating again, aren't you?'

Hypnotherapy: prices subject to change without conscious notice.

'Brilliant!'

John Travolta's Carbon Footprint.

An awareness of the human condition momentarily held up the breakfast preparations.

"Actually, we're just getting started."

"I'd be very happy to give if I could be confident the money was spent well!"

'Leaving the state of 'being'; entering the great state of 'nothingness'.'

"Are you here?"

Mike becomes self aware.

'But, suppose I raise my consciousness and I don't LIKE it?'

Sign on hypnotist's door reads: Prices Subject to change without Conscious Notice.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome Week.

"This one's for a cause to be named later."