Conscious Calorie Counter Gifts

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

All Natural Nothing

Secretive Weigh In.

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'Diet considerations.'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."