Conscious Calorie Counter T-Shirts

'Right, I'm at the yoghurt section...What size?...Right...What flavour?...Right...Low fat?...Right...Very low fat?...Right...How many?...Right...'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Secretive Weigh In.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

All Natural Nothing

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

7 brownies worth of exercise.

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Diet considerations.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'